2013 Year in review
This is one year that I can call a success. I could never consider a year a success for me in the past. I would always focus on the negative or not care about with happened because I would think it is out of my control.
But this year was different. In this past year I was finally able to pass my driving license, I know have an awesome girlfriend of currently 5 months, who is always there for me; I would not know what to do without her <3. I was finally able to finish my associates degree in liberal arts. Even though that type of degree is kind of looked down upon, I am proud of it because I had to work hard for that 3.0 average. I finally I was able to find another job, that I did not think was possible.
Nobody Knows About This Page.
1. My dad is an alcoholic.
2. My dad is controlling
3. My dad has to know everything!
4. My dad is embarrassing
5. My dad can be mean
6. My dad has used physical/mental abuse.
Why I Dont Bring Friends Over My House
My family doesnt know I have been depressed in the past. I always hide it. I could never tell them. My grandmom did ask me once but I just denied it. I just sometime wonder what they would think of this tumblr page. How they would react, what would they say? But venting and writing on here has been a good decision by me. Writing things down help a lot.
If anyone happens to read this, THANK YOU for listening.
Family Events? HAHA
Growing up I had no problem bring friends over to hang out. I would have a couple of friends over even to spend the night. Now I dont bring any friends over my house. That could be the reason I have little to no friends. Most of the time I feel alone . Knowing I might not have anyone to turn to when I really need someone, But I dont mind being a lone anymore. Maybe I just got use to it.
Lately I have been trying to think of reason I dont bring many friends over anymore. I think I finally pin pointed to problem. That problem would be my dad. From my last few post, it was stated that my dad is an alcoholic. So in the past when I did bring friends over he would make rude comments and he would have no problem yelling. One time I remember I wanted to use temporary hair dye for my up coming soccer match. He yelled no and other things but it ended up me walking out onto or deck. Meanwhile I had 3 friends over at the time. He chased me out of the house and dragged me back into the house and dragged me down to my room. Another time, when my friends and I were trying to hang out, my sister wanted to tag along. Of course my friends and I didnt want this so we told her to go home and would let her do anything thing. This ended as a result of my dad forcing me to come home and wash the cars. But my one best friend at the time helped me wash the cars.I miss him :(. We no longer talk.
My father has always been the quick judgmental type and that is why I dont allow many friends to come over.
I never had a girl friend. But recently for around 3-4 weeks I have been in a relationship with this beautiful girl. She make me happy and I think I would very depressed with out her. She makes me smile everyday. But she does not know any of this. We always hang at her place but I feel that she wants to hang at my house also. I have had her over without my dad home. But its not fair to her I wish I could tell her this but Im not sure how she will react. Hopefully in given time the truth will come out.
Why Cant Life be easier? pt 1
My family has never done things together. Once in a while besides holidays, my family may do a cook out. But thats it. I tried to get my parents to do things with me. But my mom will do more with me than my dad. She would come to my soccer games and if I asked her to shoot around playing basketball I would.
Now that we are older I tried to incorporate video games to our activities. When we played the Nintendo Wii we would all play together. But it got annoying quick. They would all drink. After that phased out I decided to get the Kinect for Xbox 360. That worked for a little while but never progressed. I even tried buying games that they would like.
I wish we could be more of a family , than they think we are. But that will never happen.
You Dont Need To Know Every Single Conversation.
I know I dont live the hardest life. I also know there are worse cases then I have. But I wish, just for one week my parents could stop drinking. Then they would be able to see how it can affect them in a negative way. They dont have much money. They spend ALOT on beer. I try to them that but of course they do not want to hear anything I have to say. It seems like I will never get to spend another day with my dad sober. At least my mom won’t start drinking until about 7pm.
The Most Annoying Sound
I hate how if I’m talking to someone and then my dad walks in the room he has to know what was said. Then if I dont tell him he will start getting pissed off since he was drinking. If I wanted you to know what I was talking about I would of directed it towards you.
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW EVERY DETAIL. Just because someone doesnt tell you something doesnt mean you have the right to get pissed off. Dad stop drinking.
School Years Pt. 1
The most annoying sound to me is of a beer can opening. But not just anyone opening up one. Its only when my dad opens the can. The only time I remember my dad sober is when hes leaving for work. When ever he’s open he needs a beer in his hand. We could never go anywhere that had a no alcohol policy. The only restaurants we went to? Only the one that had a bar. Family vacations? The only one I remember is place called Family Fun Spot. It consisted of 2 water slide,mini golf, and go carts.But we were only allowed to use the water slides because the extra activities cost money. But my sister did treat me to go carting.
I would never have friends come over because it is embarrassing because of him drinking all the time. I think that is why I dont have many friends. When ever I did have friends come over he would always start yelling at me.
I just wish for one day. Only one day he would stop drinking and maybe, just maybe I would get to see what he is really like.
I will never forget what this stranger did for me.
There will be many post about school on this Tumblr page.
At second grade I knew things were going to same since moving to a new school. Each student in second grade had a week dedicated to them where they would talk about them and there family and share picture. Most students would make a poster board and write things on them and take their pictures of there family on them.
When it was my week, I didn’t want to share things that were going on in my life. So I tried my best. I didn’t have a poster board because there was too much going on in life. So I decided to do my best. What I did was take a present box, the kind that clothes go in. I cut out the top and used that as a poster board. Being in second grade and eight years, I thought it was a clever idea.
But little did I know thats when the bullying would start….
Today was a great day. I am happy today. Since I had a good day, I want to share a happy story from my childhood.
When I was younger my grandmom, my sister, my cousin and myself went to the mall. At this mall that had one of the roller coaster simulator rides that cost around $5 for a ride. My cousin was begging my gradmom to let us ride on in. But of course she said no. I can understand why she would say no. But at the time I was a little disappointed. Then, out of no where this man comes up to us and offer to pay the $5 because he always wanted to see how it was but wanted my cousin and I to ride it.
My cousin and I had a great time on it. When it was over and we got off, this man was no where to be found. At the time I didnt realized what he did. He just said that so my cousin and I could have a good time. I will never forget that moment. That moment is the time I look back and remember that there is always good people left out in the world. I just wished I had the opportunity to thank that man. He did more for me than he knew at the time. I will never forget you stranger.Thank you.